SERVING HIM: A Celebration of Feminine Devotion
Each day, I awaken alone in the early morning light.
I gently stroke my body and bre*sts with long, slow warming strokes. I slip my n*ked body into a dress (always a dress....) and slink down the stairs.
His day begins before mine; he is always already there.
He is at his desk, sometimes sitting, other times standing....the warmth of the fireplace glow and cold blue incandescence of screenlight socketing him in a strangely majestic atmospheric violet, overlooking the stillness of the still-dark woods and the endless undulations of the sea.
Humming in quiet joy as the central channel of my body continues to vibrationally awaken, I turn the kettle on and begin to warm the milk on the stove. I gather succulent fruits, meaty things, Honey Mama chocolate, seeds, and nuts.
I prepare a special tea elixir and place all his favorite beginning-of-day foods on the platter. Without exception, my heart begins to open; my se x begins to swell.
I am instantly in an intimate love affair with the impossible beauty and sensuality of persimmon, walnut, quince, and silken, wrinkly date.
I place the platter and the tea together and holding the cold smooth edges of the plate in my hands, I bow my head to God and open to receive the words or song of grace to come through. I bless and evoke this Beginning of New Day with codes of Grace, Love, Devotion, Abundance, Eros, and Joy. Opening to God, I bless this offering for Max: his unbridled brilliance, his warriorship, and that he may grow abundance and joy and potency in all domains and dimensions of his and our life.
I bring these items to him, one at a time.
I place the tea on the coaster on his desk, carefully so as to avoid the loud clink of mug against glass.
We don't yet turn to look at one another, but our bodies are immediately aware of the intimacy.
Next, I return to the kitchen for the platter, feeling the silk of my dress graze my body with each step. I place the plate on the corner of his desk, always holding it with two hands as a symbolic homage of formality, as I am very well aware that I am serving a Great Man.
I have prepared this simple offering and served Max in this way hundreds of times. Each and every time, Max turns to look at me in this moment, and each and every time, I blush and lower my eyes and open and waves of heat and pleasure and humility and joy pulse through my body.
He doesn't just 'look at me' -- he makes sure I raise my eyes to meet his so that I see him SEEING ME and that he knows that I am fully receiving him.
This is a ritual of silent ravishing.
There is no touch and there are no words.
His seeing and receiving of me in the unbridled delight of my service to him, the fullness of my joy and my desire, is his way of GIFTING ME. He deeply knows my nature and the incredible blessing it is for me to be with a man who so drenchingly inspires my devotion.
Men like Max instinctively know how to let (and perhaps require, if I were to dare touch the darker velvet tones of Truth) a woman give *back* from this eternal wellspring of Feminine Eros, and understand the primal magnificence of this circuitry.
In these moments of our early morning ritual, there is no affect, no transaction, no 'kink', no 'trying to get' or trying to make Max (or myself) feel a certain way about me — or him. It is pure and it is true.
There is a deeply ancient, life-affirming simplicity and purity in these moments that anchors my beingness in a frequency of Feminine Devotion that serves ME, each day. Through Max's beingness, his leadership and his vision, he pours deeply into me and our relationship and it is both an honor and in my deep pleasure to give back to him ~ especiallllly in ways that are deeply encoded in my own fullness and pleasure.
(In order for the circuitry to truly take flight and feed *both* of you in endless upward and expansive spirals, its gotta be win:win, baby...)
Today, as I prepared this offering for Max one last time in this incredible year of wild darkness and magic that Earth is experiencing, my heart swelled and tears began to fall. In this moment, I realized that this simple ritual of Love and Reverence that I have created for MYSELF (even more than this could ever be for Max -- despite the external outpicturing) was one of the most meaningful, anchoring, confronting, and expansive practices of 2020.
I am so grateful to Max and all the majestic men in and of our world who know how to inspire and create space for the Deeply Feminine Ones to create and emanate from the Truth of our Eros and Devotion.
One of the most deeply beautiful gifts I have given myself in 2020 is to be in unbridled, limitless approval of the depths and radiance of my Feminine Beingness -- at the level of my Soul Essence.
This is my wish for all women....to know that your specific frequency of Deep Feminine, your desire and its raw expression is not only beautiful and rightful -- but it is deeply generative for you, for other women, for our world, and for our men.
In Celebration of the Wild, Generative Magic of Feminine Eros and Devotion in ALL of its terrestrial and cosmic expressions....
Happy New Year. ❤️